Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
