NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
