cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
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