Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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