Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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