I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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