i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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