Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
