i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I think my moral compass just broke
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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