look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
