So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
false alarm. still invincible.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
