Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
