If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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