I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
