Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize