You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
