if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
