she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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