Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
