Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
