Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
