Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
