this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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