Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
