Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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