ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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