so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
thus making me awesome and them whores
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
