I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
