I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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