with your own penis?
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
