She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
it's like iHOP with fire
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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