I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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