I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
