We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
it glows. i had to have it.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
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