Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
