is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
