do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
