He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
