I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
