U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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