Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
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