the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
