i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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