Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
There r osticjed everywhere
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Sorry about my life...
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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