Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
