I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
