on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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