"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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