awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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