hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
