Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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