a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
bring money and cleavage
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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