Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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