i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
