I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
