Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
