And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
