i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
