the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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